Ephesians | Chapter 5 – Scripture Supply

Ephesians 5:1-7

“A Walk in Love”

· Introduction

· Vs. 1-2 What a walk of love is

· Vs. 3-4 What a walk of love is not

· Vs. 5-7 Who’s your Daddy?

Introduction

We come now to the 5^th chapter of Ephesians, as Paul wrote to this church that was quite healthy spiritually. In the first three chapters, he prayed for them concerning their comprehension and practice of their wealth in their relationship with the Lord. Over and again, Paul spoke to them about all that was in their account because of the person and work of Jesus on their behalf. Then finally, in the 4^th chapter, Paul admonishes them to spend their wealth on how they live life. He spoke to them about their transformation and how God has given His Church certain men who are to equip the believers to live this new life in a world that doesn’t know anything about it. Then Paul outlined the two-step process of daily transformation that we Christians are to do constantly, both in actions as well as attitudes:

We put off the old man.
We put on the new man.

Now the 5^th chapter gets specific on what the “New Man” looks like, and you will recall that in the first verse of chapter 4, Paul said to “walk worthy,” and here in the second verse of chapter 5, we read Paul telling them to “Walk in love.” What we have here is a description of what love is and what love is not, and the consequences of living in what it is not. These seven verses blow apart the misconceptions of love in Paul’s day as well as ours.

Vs. 1-2 What a walk of love is

Vs. 1 The word “therefore” links the words of chapter four verses 30-32 with what he is about to say. Again, Paul was talking about the putting off the old man attitudes and the putting on of the new man attitudes, which were all based upon Jesus’ forgiveness of our sins.

Now the phrase “be imitators of God” is an interesting one, as the word in the Greek is where we get our word “mimic and mime.” I’m sure most of us have watched mimes perform on a street corner, but what a mime does or what we do if we “mimic” someone is to copy certain characteristics of another person. Paul says to the believer that we are to copy the characteristics of God. To understand this phrase, it is best to simply ask yourself, “What does God do?” To simplify this, we can sum up all that He does in two words:

He Creates: God is always making things live that prior to His hand did not live.
He Redeems: God, causes that which may have been alive but didn’t work, to work as He designed.

Now when you boil those two things down, you will see that what God does is “love,” so in the next verse, Paul qualifies what we are to mimic about God’s character.

What are we to mimic? Paul says we are to order lives around love, which he defines as the way in which Jesus loves us, and then Paul very specifically says “and given Himself for us.” In other words, “walk in love” is clearly defined as self-sacrificing. More on this in a moment but let us first look at the three reasons we are to “mimic” the characteristics of God’s love.

“Dear children”: First he says that we are God’s “beloved” children; in other words, we are to copy our Father’s behavior. Have you ever noticed children and the way they learn? Well, they imitate their parents, don’t they? We are to imitate our Father’s way of loving in this world. In John 8:44, Jesus observed the religious leaders lack of love and said to them, “You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do.” The professing Christian’s practice is what will prove what they are proclaiming. You’ve heard that old analogy that says, “If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it is a duck!” You won’t imitate someone you have never known, is what Paul is saying.
“And given Himself for us”: The second reason we are to copy God’s character is that Jesus died for us to have the right to become God’s children. In John 15:13 Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” To not do so is to disregard the price paid for your redemption, Paul says.
“An offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.” Here we are given the third reason for us to mimic God’s love, and that is that it pleases Him when you do. In Leviticus chapters 1–5, we are told of these offerings, and each of them points to Jesus’ sacrifice on our behalf:
The burnt offering: Spoke of Jesus’ complete devotion to the Father to give His life to obey and please His Father.
The meal offering: Spoke of the perfection of Jesus’ character
The peace offering: Spoke of Jesus willingness to stand in the gap to bring peace between God and man.

All of these pleased the Father; in fact, He said so two times in Matthew, saying, “This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.”

We are to mimic God’s character of love because:

We are His Children
Jesus has paid for the right for us to do so.
It pleases our heavenly Father.

Vs. 3-4 What a walk of love is not

Vs. 3- 4 Having described what God’s character of “love” is as seen in Jesus’ given His love for us, Paul now shows what “love is not.” What is interesting to me is that Paul, in saying what “love” is and what it is not, is going against what the people of the world thought of love. You see, the people of the world were much like today, as they saw love as the act of sex. Why the term “making love” was one in which they would fully agree as sexual freedom as a bodily function and pleasure was not only thought of as normal and proper, but it was also encouraged as an act of religious worship. Yet with that being the norm, Paul still made these statements about what “love” is not. That is why Paul, right after telling the Ephesian believers to walk in love described as self-sacrificing, explains what it is not.

Now let me set the record straight.

It is God who designed sexual intimacy, so He is not against sex. In fact, it is He who placed it as part of our natural drives. Yet like all our drives, we are to control them, and they are not to control us. But there is a difference between our sexual drive and our appetite. You see, we won’t die if we deprive our sexual appetites until we get married, but if you decide not to eat until you are married, then unless you plan to get married real soon, you won’t make it.
Second, since sexual intimacy is God’s plan, that means that His prohibitions about it in the Bible are not to keep us from something that is good, pleasurable, and helpful, but rather they are to ensure the above. The truth is sex outside of the confines of God’s word is less than the best and will result in injury! Injury, what are you talking about? Well, you can be injured on three levels. First, you will be injured spiritually, as sin separates us from God and our fellow man as well. Second, we risk emotional injury as sexual intimacy outside of God’s confines is not an act of “love” but rather an act of “self-love” or “lust”! And when a person has given himself or herself to join with another person intimately, you always leave a part of yourself there, and the tearing away rips you off emotionally. Finally, you are risking injury physically with all the S.T.D.s.

To draw a clear distinction of what love is not, Paul gives this list of what it is not, even though that is how society views love. Wherever there is a real thing, satan seeks to establish a counterfeit to confuse people.

3 “Fornication”: The word here is where we get our word for “porn,” and it describes any and all sex that is against God’s love. You see, God’s love is about seeking to meet someone else’s needs by forfeiting your own. But the world looks at sex as the opposite, seeking to use someone else for our own pleasure! Today people are so confused about this, and they even call the act “making love” as they rip the person off to do so. What they have is “made lust,” as it is only about fulfilling their own desires for pleasure.
3 “All uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints”: This phrase is very interesting as Paul uses the word “uncleanness,” which means a “rotten decay corpse,” and then ties that with “coveting.” When we covet, we want that which is not ours, and so we see how these two things are tied together, as the love the world offers is only self-satisfaction by possessing that which is not theirs. Paul says that this “uncontrolled sexual appetite” must not be “named” among them, as it is a disgrace for believers. I’ve got to tell you that believers are practicing this “self-lust” at an alarming rate as they are having their sexual drives control them. There is a big difference between “self-love” and “selfless love.”.
4 “Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks”: Paul ties together our conversation with our actions as out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. You can tell a lot about what is in a person’s heart by what they talk about, laugh at, can’t you? “Dirty behavior” that seems to only think of people as objects for our pleasure and talks about it all the time, makes humor by taking every phrase and turning it into smut reveals what is in their heart. You see, “Grace in your hearts will be seen in grace upon your lips!” Instead, there ought to be praise upon our lips.
Vs. 5-7 Who’s your Daddy?

Vs. 5 Paul spells it out here that our practice must match our profession, and if it doesn’t, then it reveals what our heart is. Now look at what Paul says here: “If a person is calling themselves a mimic of God and yet is habitually living as a worshiper of self-pleasure, then they are showing that they have no relationship with God.” Now Paul is not saying:

That a person who stumbles into sin and may even commit sexual sin is not a believer as clearly David committed murder as well as adultery, but he did not live there.
Neither is Paul saying that a person who habitually practices these sins has “lost” their salvation; rather, they are revealing that they never had it to begin with!

Profession must be matched with practice.

Paul is saying that a person who is practicing a lifestyle of sexual sin is not going to enter into God’s kingdom. You see a person who is worshiping their sex drive and seeking others to fulfill their pleasure is worshipping the god of sex and NOT the God of heaven. I’m not saying that a Christian is “sinless,” but a Christian will “sin” less and less and less! And he certainly won’t want to live in it!

Vs. 6-7 This ought to put to rest how Paul felt about minimizing the habitual practice of sin in the Church, as he called it “empty words,” and those words will not prevent God’s judgment that will come upon the unbelievers, whether they are in the Church or in the world.

Finally, Paul says not to support this junk; don’t be a partner with wickedness but rather copy our heavenly Father.

Is that not interesting that we start with what love is (self-sacrificing) and what it is not (self-pleasing), and Paul wrote to believers in a world that spelled “Love” …. “Lust”!

Ephesians 5:8-17

· Introduction

· Vs. 8-12 Nothing to hide

· Vs. 13-14 No place to hide

· Vs. 15-17 Not wanting to hide

Introduction

Paul started exhorting the Ephesian believers in chapter 4 “to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called.” He then spoke to them concerning the two-fold process of “putting off the old man” and then “putting on the new man.” The “new man” that we are to put on mimics the character of God (verses 1), and Paul went on to say that we are to mimic God’s love, which was described as self-sacrificing. The world in which Paul wrote was much like ours, so Paul had to say what “love was not” (verses 3–7).

Here in these verses 8–17, we see another aspect of a worthy walk which mimics God, and that is a walk in the light. When you think of “light” biblically, it has two aspects:

Truth: Light by its very nature allows for nothing to be hidden, and as such, we can hide nothing from God as He sees everything. Hebrews 4:13 states, “There is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.”
Purity: Light is also pure, and purity is health or wholeness, and it is this purity that God displays to the world in His Church.

It is good for us to remember just what a “walk” consists of; hold on to your seats. A “walk” simply consists of two steps you repeat over and over. Isn’t that great, as Paul has told us, that the two steps we are to repeat over and over as God’s children are putting off the old man and putting on the new man? Paul in this section shows us three aspects of our “walking as children of light”:

8-12 We have nothing to hide: As we have been transformed from darkness to light, verse 8.
13-14 We have no place to hide: As the light exposes all things, verse 13.
15-17 We don’t want to hide. Instead, we want to make the most of the time God has given us, verse 16.

As I prepared for this message, I read a quote by a commentator that struck a nerve in my heart that deals with our walk in light, and that is our failure to do so. He simply stated, “One of satan’s greatest weapons is an inconsistent Christian!” That is Paul’s point to the Ephesians: “Be who you are, not what you were!” You see, the Lord is not asking His children to do anything that they aren’t by His work of transformation. No, He is just asking us to live as He has recreated us.

Vs. 8-12 Nothing to hide

Vs. 8: Paul makes a very powerful statement concerning what we were as well as what we now are. Look at verse 1: Paul doesn’t merely say that we “were once IN darkness,” but rather that we were darkness’s self. You know what that tells us? Well, it tells us that our problem was not that we just wondered off course and got into trouble; no, we were the problem!

The other thing I notice is that Paul uses the word “once,” which suggests that what we were, we are no longer; there has been a glorious transformation from being darkness to being “light.” Furthermore, that transformation was permanent, as the words “once” and “now” suggest. You see, if this transformation from the kingdom of darkness to the kingdom of light has not taken place, then it will be visible, won’t it? You see, we may have come out of the muck of the world, but we don’t live there anymore. Furthermore, we are not merely in the light; we are light in the Lord! Right off Paul emphasizes the same two-step process we are to repeat over and over: “Putting off what we were, darkness,” and “putting on what we are, light in the Lord.” Hey, if we simply repeat these two steps, we would be walking as “children of Light” wouldn’t we?

All right then, how will I know that I’m walking as a Child of light? Well, Paul gave us the personal traits or characteristics of such a walk in verse 9.

Vs. 9 Now I like this as it makes sense since to me you see “light” always causes things to grow, doesn’t it? He says that being light in the Lord produces certain traits Paul calls (fruit, which is a work of the Spirit. Now these “fruits” are not a part of self-effort; no, they are a natural byproduct of being “light in the Lord.” How do we know this? Well, Paul says that these traits or fruits are of the “Spirit” not the “light.”

Think of it this way: a tree does not grunt and groan and put long hours in to produce fruit. No, it is planted in soil; its roots go down deep into the soil, taking in the nutrients and water necessary for growth, then the sun shines on the tree, all of which just naturally causes the tree to do what it has been designed to do, “bear fruit”! You see the “fruit of the spirit” is a natural occurrence of our transformation being light in the Lord and walking as we now are!

Notice that the word “fruit” is in the singular, which has three traits always associated with it: “goodness, righteousness, and truth.” I find that interesting, as in Paul’s letter to the Galatians in the 5^th chapter, Paul uses the same wording, saying that the “fruit of the Spirit is love” (singular), then he goes on to list eight ways in which the fruit of love is manifested. The other thing of note is that the word “spirit” is actually rendered “light” in the older manuscripts, which suggests to me that our being “light in the Lord” is a glorious work of the Holy Spirit. As you go through your Bibles, you will discover something very interesting concerning the Godhead:

The Father: In 1 Tim 6:16, it is seen “dwelling in unapproachable light.”.
Jesus Christ calls Himself “the light of the world” in John 9:5.
The Holy Spirit: The work of the Holy Spirit is often characterized by light.

Is it any wonder with regards to us that Jesus calls His followers “the light of the world” in Matthew 5:14? Here then are the three traits of the fruit of being and walking in the light in which the Spirit has worked in our lives. But first notice the two words “In All” The structure of the sentence suggests that they be repeated for each of these three traits. Further, they suggest that each of these traits is completely saturated through and through with these traits.

In all goodness: Others This first trait has to do with others, as we see from the use of the word in the Greek found only 4 times in the New Testament it is a word that comes from the same root word as agape, which suggests that the “goodness” that is a trait here refers to willingly sacrificing ourselves for the benefit of another. Perhaps we could use the word “benevolence” as it conveys the word. You see, there ought to be no action taken by those of us who “are” light in the Lord that would be harmful to another. How different that is in the world and what we were as darkness. You see, as darkness, all we were concerned with was whether it would bring us harm. But walking in the light keeps us from not only not harming another but doing everything to bless others! We won’t be just saying “bless me,” we will be saying “bless me so that I can bless others”! In Matt. 20:28 Jesus said of Himself, “The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”
In all righteousness: GOD This has to do with how we live in our relationship with God. The word means to do that which is right, which not only implies honesty before the Lord but also those things that are right, such as trusting Him alone and obeying Him even when it goes against what you want. Since we are light in the Lord, we will walk rightly before Him, desiring to be honest, trusting and obeying him no matter what.
In all truth: OURSELVES This word refers to personal integrity and reliability. We often call it the trait of sincerity—the conscience of a person who has no pretenses or compromises, even in the hidden places of their heart. There are always two more pairs of eyes observing our every thought and action, God’s. As we are in the light of the Lord, we are always aware of this truth. We will never want to pretend to be that which we are not; no, we will be real light in the Lord!

Vs. 10 Further, Paul says that we children of light will be “testing,” trying constantly to find out if what we are interested in is something Jesus would be doing, watching, saying, or spending time with! Man is that a far cry of many a professing child of the light, as they want to see how close to the darkness they can come without a shadow being cast upon them! Think of asking yourself this question before we act: “Is Jesus going to enjoy what I’m about to do because He is here with me now?” Now Paul puts this in a positive spin, as we are not trying to find out what doesn’t please Him but rather what IS well pleasing to Him.

Vs. 11-12 Here is how we react to those things that don’t bless Jesus:

No fellowship: We are to have nothing in common with those things that don’t bless Jesus. Interesting that there is fruit as Children of Light, but darkness is unfruitful; it doesn’t produce any lasting profit. We are to have nothing in common with that which doesn’t produce fruit! That is why Paul is going to encourage us to invest our time, talent, and treasure in verse 16.
Expose them: The “them” in this verse is not a person in the context; it is the “unfruitful works of darkness.” Simply put, we are not to keep quiet about such things; we are to shine light upon them to point out that such things are not only a waste of time, but a potential loss of profit! To be silent on the “unfruitful works of darkness” is to, by silence, give acceptance to such things; light, by its very nature, dispels darkness!
Don’t speak of them. Here is a warning to us: as we shine light upon such things, don’t investigate them too deeply, as you may find your light not exposing their unfruitfulness but rather tempted by their fleeting pleasure for a season. The Greek religions were full of secret societies and rituals that were perverse, which many of these Ephesians no doubt had participated in at one time, so Paul says don’t revisit the muck of “unfruitful works of darkness.” Curiosity has not only killed the cat; it has often enslaved the saint!

Vs. 13-14 No place to hide

Vs. 13: As Children of Light, not only do we now have nothing to hide, but we also realize we have no place to hide (not that we ever did)! The only place we can hide is in the Lord, and He is light; therefore, He will expose whatever we are in. We cannot expose something and participate in it at the same time. The exhortation is for us to simply live as we now are, and since we are light, our lives will bring light to every place they go. Ever notice that darkness always flees from the presence of light? And what happens to where the darkness was? Well, it turns to light, does it not? Light does not just condemn; it also heals that which is revealed by it.

Vs. 14 This is an interesting verse, as some see it as a paraphrase of Isa. 60:1, where Isaiah proclaims, “Arise, shine; for your light has come! And the glory of the LORD is risen upon you.” Some also recognize it as possible at early hymns to encourage those who were nonbelievers to receive the Lord. Clearly Paul meant it as an exhortation to those who were asleep in the “unfruitful works of darkness,” not realizing that they were dead. What are we to do if we find ourselves caught in darkness? Repent, which is turning away from sin and towards Jesus, and He will give you light! You see Paul was writing to the “saints who were in Ephesus, faithful in Christ Jesus” (Eph. 1:1), not to some unbelievers. There are far too many Christians whom God has raised from the dead that spend far too much time in the cemetery! To Lazarus Jesus cried with a loud voice, “Come forth!”

Vs. 15-17 Not wanting to hide

Vs. 15 Having dealt with “nothing to hide” and “no place to hide,” Paul deals with the only thing left, and that is how to walk in a dark world as children of the light. Look at what Paul says here in these three verses; “See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” You see what is missing in this section? Paul concerns himself not with “where” we walk but only with “how” we walk! You see, “where” a person is going is a relatively easy thing to correct but changing “how” they are getting there is much more difficult. Take a man on a tight rope; where he is going is not a problem, but how he is getting there is a whole different matter! Paul suggests five marks of how to walk as children of light in a dark world:

15 Carefully: That kind of sounds like a punch line to a joke, but it’s not. Paul says, “see then” and places those words before equating walking in wisdom and not foolishness with this word “circumspectly.” In other words, “make sure” to “look around on every side” (circumspectly), as a wise person is a person who is on the watch where a foolish person is just going along with the crowd. The foolish person is on the path of “least resistance.” It is this path that is the broadest, as Jesus said in Matt 7:13–14, “wide is the gate, and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.” In the 2^nd chapter we were told prior to Christ’s transforming work in our lives we once walked according to the course of the world. Now, we are to be careful not to.
16a Consecrated: Paul uses a word here “redeeming” that was used of the marketplace; it meant to “buy up in order to make a profit.” We are to so live as to make a complete investment of our lives in every opportunity. The Greeks had an idol of a man with wings on his feet, a lock of hair only in the front of his head, and nothing to grab a hold of behind it. Under it was an inscription that explained its meaning: “My name is opportunity; my wings are to fly away swiftly; the hair in front of my head is so you can seize me when I come, but once I’ve gone, no one can lay hold of me!” We need to rescue as much time as we can, as it is indeed the most valuable commodity in the world today. Time is only here now, and tomorrow it is no more, so let us make sure that we waste none of what God has given us.
16b Continually: Here Paul gives the reason we are to buy up all the time, “because in which we live are evil.” Wow, did you get that? Paul says evil days are not obstacles; instead, they are opportunities. What seems to be against us is in reality creating a bargain for us to purchase! Think of satan as he thought he had won as Jesus hung on the cross; instead, it was the way in which our victory and satan’s defeat were secured. You see, it is trials and adversities that reveal that His grace is alone sufficient for our every need. Difficulties don’t come to set us back; they come to advance us forward in our faith! That is why James wrote, “Count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”
17a Conscientiously: The comparison is between unwise and understanding; our understanding is of who He is, not necessarily of where we may find ourselves walking. That is why Paul follows this statement with the words “will of the Lord.” God wants us to investigate who He is, and in doing that, our walk in the light will make visible all the obstacles in a dark world.
17b Consistently: You see, God has a plan, and He wants us to realize that His plan is our maturity in our relationship with Him. Our walk in the light accomplishes His plan perfectly.

These are the secrets of walking as children of the light: just be who you are in Christ, not what you were in darkness.

Ephesians 5:18-21

“A Walk in Power”

· Introduction

· Vs. 18: Where have you been drinking?

· Vs. 19-21 Three evidence of a Spirit-filled life

Introduction

In the 4^th chapter, Paul spoke to the Ephesian believers about a “walk worthy of our calling.” He has since defined such a walk as a two-step process repeated again and again of “putting off the old man” and “putting on the new man.” Now we are all very familiar with what the old man looks like; we see him every day in the mirror, don’t we? But what does the “new man” look like? Paul told us at the start of the 5^th chapter that the new man looks like God as seen in Jesus. We are simply to “mimic” Jesus. Paul began to teach us in what areas we are to mimic Jesus:

Vs. 2-7 Love
Vs. 8-17 Light

Now Paul gives us another area we are to mimic God in our new man, and this one deals with our power. I find it interesting that in each of these areas of imitating Jesus, Paul must explain to the Ephesians what these qualities were as well as what they were not. You see, society, which is influenced by the god of this world (satan) always seeks to corrupt the truth by imitating it and then change the meaning enough to get people off tract.

Vs. 18: Where have you been drinking?

Vs. 18a Now Paul starts off with the negative here by saying what “being filled with the Spirit” is not.

“And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation.” To better understand exactly what Paul is saying here, we need to understand the terms.
Drunk: The word here clearly describes “intoxication,” in which our senses or faculties become impaired. Now I did a little research on this and found that even though a person can legally drive, their faculties become impaired after one drink, even though it may take 3 or 4 to be arrested for driving under the influence.
Wine: There are three words used for wine in the Bible:
The first one is usually translated “strong drink” because of its high alcohol content, which led to quick intoxication.
The second is associated with the word “new wine,” and it is where we get our English word glucose. Some today might call this a sweet wine as it is made from freshly squeezed juice, which ferments rapidly before becoming fully aged. This “new wine” was usually mixed with water to lessen the effects of the fermentation.
Finally, there is a word that is syrup or paste made from grapes, in which the juice was boiled down so they could store it. This consecrated syrup then would be used like a jam, or water would be added to it to make a drink. It is this word Jesus uses in Matthew 9:17 concerning putting “new wine” only in new wineskins. The reason was that this would prevent them from being contaminated by the old wine that was in them, which would hasten the fermentation process. The only way this drink would become fermented is over a long period of time, and even then, the amount of alcohol content would be far less.

Now here is what is interesting: Paul uses the third word here in which the only way in which a person could get drunk would drink large amounts, which would suggest a person is “addicted to wine” (1 Tim. 3:3).

Dissipation: This word means “that which is unable to save” or that which is “waste. “Now when we talk of a person who is drunk, we say that they are “wasted,” and that is a very accurate term.

Clearly Paul is speaking of drinking intoxicating drinks with the purpose of impairing our senses. People drink in their desire to be “happy.” In fact, bars even call this the “happy hour,” and to be happy, the person drinks to impair their senses so they can be happy again; they just don’t want to feel those things that cause them to be unhappy. The problem with being drunk on wine to be happy is not the desire to be happy, but only the means in which a person is using to get there.

Alcohol is a depressant and, by its very nature, depresses our natural restraints and self-control. It is more than likely that our own selfish desires have caused us to be unhappy, so loosening those restraints is probable going to get us into a greater state of despair.
What alcohol offers is only temporary and does nothing to change what has caused us to be unhappy and will instead create greater unhappiness.

Paul says, “Don’t impair your senses by numbing them temporarily; why is that just a big waste of time?” It is not that God is trying to keep us from something that works; He is trying to keep us from something that will only make our unhappiness greater.

Vs. 18b Is it not great that the Lord does not just tell us what not to do but He tells us what works, “but be filled with the Spirit.” You see alcohol as a depressant; it “loosens” people because it depresses their self-control. But the Holy Spirit is a “stimulant.” He moves every part of our being into perfect performance. Wow, how much greater is having our lives enhanced instead of depressed? From “distilled spirits” to the “dynamic Spirit” whose very presence takes that which is a waste and transforms it into that which is valuable. There are several things about this phrase that Paul uses that need to be looked at:

It is in the “plural form,” which tells us that it applies to all Christians, not just a select few.
It is in the “imperative mode,” which means that it is a command, not an option.
It is in the “passive voice,” which tells us that it is not manufactured by us.
It is in the “present tense,” which means that it is a continual action, not a one-time event.

The filling has nothing to do with content or quantity and everything to do with being controlled by that which is filling us. The word filling has three uses that help us understand what Paul means by telling us to be filled with the Spirit:

The word is used of a sail that is filled with wind, which propels it along.
Second, the word filled is used of salt that is used to cure meat, in which it describes salt that has so filled the meat as to preserve it as well as enhance its flavor.
Finally, it describes that which has total control or dominance over a person. Such as when a person is “filled” with anger.

So instead of having our senses numbed so that we can be happy, Paul says, “Why not be completely controlled by the Holy Spirit so that you can be moved along life having life enhanced as well as preserved being completely dominated by the Lord’s presence?” Now that’s a high that we ought to all desire! Now the Bible speaks of two instances in which the Holy Spirit baptizes believers:

There is the “baptism in the Spirit,” in which we are “placed into” Christ’s body. Paul speaks of this in Romans 8:9. “But you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. Now if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not His.” When did this “baptism in the Spirit” take place? When we gave our hearts and lives to His control.
The Bible also speaks of the “baptism of the Spirit.” It is this baptism, this placing into Jesus power that he told His disciples of in Acts 1:4-8, where He said that they would “receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you.”.

Wait a minute, you just said that we are to be “completely controlled by the Holy Spirit so that you can be moved along life having life enhanced as well as preserved being completely dominated by the Lord’s presence.” How is that possible if it is a one-time event? Well, a one-baptism with many constant fillings, you see the pipe is connected so we can have a constant supply of His power to live life enhanced by the Spirit and not an alcohol trying to just numb our unhappiness.

Vs. 19-21: Three evidences of a Spirit-filled life

Paul gives us three evidences of a life that is constantly being filled with the Spirit in these three verses:

19 Joyfulness: Here is what is cool: so much of our “joy” is like a “thermometer” that rises and falls according to the temperature of the circumstances we face. No wonder the flesh seeks to numb this. But the Spirit in control is like a “thermostat.” He, in which He does not create joy by new surroundings, creates new surroundings by joy. You see the Spirit changes our “attitude” inwardly, and Paul is very specific as he tells us three ways in which this joy is seen.”

Speaking: First, we will be talking to each other about three things:

Psalms: As you read the Psalms, the four books that made up Israel’s hymn book, you will see that they “glorify the nature and work of God the Father.”.
Hymns: Now these were songs that specifically sought to “glorify the person and work of Jesus.”.
Spiritual songs: Then finally we have those spiritual songs that “glorify the person and work of the Holy Spirit.”.

Singing and making melody: Interesting use of words here as Paul says that our joy ought to be both with our voices as well as our hands, as the word “melody” is a word that means to pluck with the fingers. But notice the location in which this is done: “in your heart to the Lord.” Joy that produces praise comes from the Spirit, changes our hearts, and then is sent back to the Godhead.
Thankfulness: The next evidence of a life under control of the Spirit is “upward” in gratitude. Instead of taking things for granted, we start to realize how blessed we are to be in our Father’s house. Now Paul qualifies this thankfulness by saying four things:
When are we to be thankful? “Always.”
What are we to be thankful for? “All things.”
Whom are we to be thankful to? “God the Father.”
Why are we to be thankful? “The name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

The “when” and the “what” are never a problem if we have settled the “whom” and “why”!

21 Brokenness: Finally, we will see that the Holy Spirit is filling us in an “outward” manner, as we will be desiring to bless others over blessing ourselves. There is always a third party in every human relationship, and when the Spirit is in control, it is His rights that take precedence over the other two. You see, it is not a “tug of war” between two people; that is our problem; it is a tug of war between what the Lord wants and what we want, which is why we are unhappy. When the Spirit is in control of our lives, we will desire to bring the other person into a greater understanding of God. Why do we lay down our rights? Paul says, “in devotion to the Lord!” The biggest problem we face in getting along with others is the only area we can have changed and controlled, and it is our own hearts. Dear Lord, control our lives!

Ephesians 5:22-24

“A Walk in Wisdom (part a)”

· Introduction

· Vs. 22-24 Wisdom for women

Introduction

Now last week we looked at a “walk in power” instead of one “drunk on wine,” just seeking to numb our life enough to get through the day. We saw generally that such a “Spirit filled” or power-filled life had three evidences:

19 Joyfulness
20 Thankfulness
21 Brokenness

From verse 22 through chapter 6 verse 9, Paul is going to give us practical ways in which this power-filled life is to be applied. Though we are still looking at the “Spirit filled” life, we are seeing that there is a whole other aspect to this “Spirit filled life,” and this has to do with application.

It has been said many times that “knowledge is the accumulation of truth, but wisdom is the application of it.” It is for this reason that Solomon said, “Get wisdom!” A “worthy walk” of Paul’s admonishment in chapter 4:1 is one that is done in God’s:

Love
Light
Power
Wisdom

Now this section of “walking in power applied” deals with the most difficult human relationships we will encounter:

22-33 Husbands and wives
6:1-4 Parents and their children
5-9 Employees and employers

Now again, I remind you that Paul has already given us what every walk consists of: “two steps” repeated over and over. And those two steps were seen in chapter 4 verses 22-24, where he told the Ephesian believers to “put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man” and “put on the new man, which was created according to God. It is here that we see just what that “new man” looks like in the area of our marriage.

Vs. 22-24 Wisdom for women

Vs. 22 As we get into this section of scripture, I notice several very important things:

There are only three verses that show women what the “new woman” looks like, while there are nine verses that show what the “new man” looks like. I think this reveals two very important things about this section:
Wives apparently need less instruction on what the “new woman” looks like than men do as it relates to the “new man.”.
Second, by the sheer volume of verses as it relates to this admonition, it is very apparent that God holds the husband more responsible in the marriage. Which is what “headship” is all about to begin with.
Secondly, these admonitions are exclusive in nature. In other words, verses 22-24 don’t say, “Husbands, tell your wives, remind them frequently, and preach it until the cows come home to submit.” Neither does it say, “Wife’s, nag your husband, pout, throw tantrums, and generally haunt him every day until he loves you the way you need to be!”

No, what God has to say is exclusively for each partner.

Paul’s words of submission of wives to their own husbands need to be placed into the 21^st verse, where he uses the same word, telling believers “male and female” to “submit one another in the fear of the Lord.” In other words, as we are filled with the Spirit, our desire ought to be the yielding of our lives for the benefit of our spouse. The word “submit” literally means “the voluntary relinquishing of one’s rights,” which helps greatly in our understanding of God’s command. Paul did not use the word “obey” as he will in chapter 6 verses 1 and 5 as it relates to children to their parents and slaves to their masters. The word here does not give carte blanche for the husband to treat his wife as a servant, to be ordered about responding to his every whim and command. Paul gives 5 things as it relates to wives’ submission to their husbands:

Voluntary: This word suggests that the wife is voluntarily relinquishing her rights and not being ordered to do so by her husband! With that said, this voluntary relinquishing of her rights is not to be selective only when she agrees with her husband. The relinquishing of rights has to do with trust, and this trust as it relates to wives is not in their husbands but rather in the Lord! She is not voluntarily relinquishing her rights because her husband deserves it; no, it is out of her relationship with the Lord Jesus. In fact, I believe you can always gauge the degree to which a wife is willing to yield to the Lord by how willing they are to do so to their husbands.

The idea is caught in Peter, the master fisherman’s response to Jesus’ exhortation to launch out into the deep and let down his nets even though Peter had been fishing all night and caught nothing. Peter simply stated his position then said, “Nevertheless at Your word.” TRUST! Neither is this verse saying that she is to worship her husband, which is only to be reserved for God.

It reminds me of the story of the young newlywed who had not quite mastered the art of cooking but was still eager to please her husband. After watching one of those cooking shows, she set out to the store to buy the ingredients and spent all day whipping up the meal in love. All was going well as she placed the meal in the oven, but she had mistakenly transposed the temperature setting. The table was decorated perfectly when the husband walked in from work, but there was a slight smell of smoke in the air as he set down at the table. As the smoldering meal was placed in front of him, her eyes started to well up with tears, to which he responded, “Honey, I can see that you have poured all your love into this meal for me but burnt offerings of worship belong only to the Lord!”

Specific: “to your own husbands.” Paul’s words are not the general placing of all women under all men, as some understand it. In fact, there are only two areas in which male headship or authority is ordained by God: marriage and leadership in the Church. Paul uses the very specific word “own” as it relates to voluntarily relinquishing women’s rights. She is not under the same obligation with other men that are not her husband other than the generally yielding of our lives for the benefit of others spoken of in verse 21. Let alone men who seem to think it their place to order women around as their personal servants as some inferior species to them. Men who do so are not men but rather “boys” who need to grow up and start treating women as the blessings they are. Several years ago, I had a conversation with a fellow who was going through a divorce. We were driving, and he told me he had a theory that the only woman that he would consider ever marrying was found in who would be driving the car (even her car) when he would go out on a date. If she would not give him her keys to drive her car, it would be the last date. I took issue with his theory and understood why his wife no longer wanted to be united with him.
Attitude: “as to the Lord.” Here then is the only way that this command is possible. The wife who is voluntarily relinquishing her rights is doing so because it is the Lord’s will that she does so, and in so doing she is “pleasing the Lord” as well as voluntarily relinquishing her rights to Jesus! Now then the opposite of this would be true as well: not doing so would not be pleasing to the Lord and not relinquishing her rights to Jesus. It is a tragic truth that at times a husband makes this a burden instead of a blessing by the way in which he responds. Far too many husbands are “thoughtless, abusive, ungrateful, and inconsiderate” of our wives as they seek to obey the Lord in their voluntarily relinquishing of rights.
23 Example: “For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church.” Here we are given both the reason for this command as well as the example of it in Jesus being over us. Paul elaborated on this idea further in 1 Cor. 11:3, where he said, “The head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” It is the words “the head of Christ is God” that we get a fuller understanding of headship. Because clearly Jesus is in no way inferior to the Father, yet in authority He laid down His rights. In fact, you can go through the gospel of John and find four elements of headship as they relate to Jesus towards God the Father:
Cooperation: John 5:17 “My father has been working until now, and I have been working.” Jesus’ submission was in cooperation with what the Father was doing. In other words, He yielded His rights to further the work that they were both committed to doing, which was to redeem mankind together!
Authority: John 8:29 “The Father has not left Me alone, for I always do those things that please Him.” The authority that the Father had over the Son was one that Jesus desired to do, which was “always please Him.” In other words, it was not simply an obligation; it was a privilege to do so. Jesus saw His submission not as “I got to” but rather “I get to”!
Honor: John 8:49, 54 “I honor My Father. It is My Father who honors Me.” Jesus’ submission was a mutual honor; in other words, His willingness to place himself under the authority of the Father was both “honoring an honor.” So as a wife who honors her husband by voluntarily relinquishing her rights, she receives the greatest amount of honor that could come her way.
Identity: John 10:30 “I and My Father are one.” It was in this submission that Jesus’ identity was most clearly visible; submission to the Father did not mar His identity; it manifested it! So too, when a wife voluntarily relinquishing her rights, she is showing her oneness and equality with her husband, not her inferiority to Him. This point is further illustrated by the words about Jesus being the “Savior of the body.” These words define the meaning of the phrase “Christ is head of the church.” How is Jesus the head of the church? Well, He is it’s Savior. His role is to always seek to “provide, protect, and preserve” His bride, the church. I doubt there would be any wife who would have a hard time “voluntarily relinquishing her rights” to a person who continually loves his bride the way in which Jesus does us. Now I’m not suggesting that wives wait to submit until we husbands begin to perform our responsibility as Jesus does towards us. What I am suggesting, fellows, is we can help our wives out there “voluntarily relinquishing their rights” by so loving our wives!
Extent: Now, based upon what Paul has already said, her voluntarily relinquishing of rights is to be in “everything.” The word is defined again by the phrase “as the church is subject to Christ.” In other words, so long as what the husband is asking the wife to voluntarily relinquishing her rights” does not violate her subjection to Jesus. If what the husband wants her to do is immoral, unethical, and illegal, then she is not required to relinquish her rights. What if her husband tells her not to go to church, not to read her Bible, or pray? Well, she then only needs to look at whether this would violate God’s word.

How about in the area of moving or finances? Well, clearly, the litmus test is “as the church is subject to Christ,” so in every area that does not violate this, then wives are too voluntarily relinquishing their rights. Now with that said, fellows, let me say that our wives are our “helpmates,” and as such, we want to always seek to please them, and if we do not value their opinion and listen to their advice, we would be pretty dumb. However, after she is heard and you have prayed together and sought the Lord, and you still feel the Lord is guiding you in a way that is different from your wife, then you have the final decision.

Now, before you get all in a power trip, you need to realize that you have the final decision, but you are also the sole person who God will hold accountable for it! With power comes responsibility, and with responsibility comes accountability!

Now next week we shall take up the husband’s responsibilities, so fellows, I expect to see you here to listen to your role!

Ephesians 5:25-33

“A Walk in Wisdom (part b)”

· Introduction

· Vs. 25-33 Wisdom for men

Introduction

We are still looking at the characteristics of a “spirit-filled” life—a life that is not just seeking to survive by numbing itself but a life in power living as life’s conquerors in Christ. A “worthy walk” of Paul’s admonishment in chapter 4:1 is one that is in the power of the filling of the Spirit, but this will be seen in “walking in power applied,” which deals with wisdom. Last week I gave you the entire outline as Paul gave us in this section where we will need to apply the Spirit’s power in the most difficult areas, human relationships:

22-33 Husbands and wives
6:1-4 Parents and their children
5-9 Employees and employers

Paul gave the perspective on marriage as it relates to women (what the “new woman” looks like) and said that she is one who will voluntarily relinquishing her rights to her husband. Paul went on to tell us what relinquishing of her rights looks like by giving us six things about “the new woman’s” submission:

Voluntary
Not selective
Specific
Attitude: “as to the Lord
Example: “For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church.”

Cooperation: John 5:17
Authority: John 8:29
Honor: John 8:49, 54
Identity: John 10:30
Extent

Vs. 25-33 Wisdom for men

25 Paul had already explained the mutualrelinquishing of rights in verse 21, and now here he explains to them how this looks for husbands. Husband’s headship is to be seen in their “loving their wives.” What is interesting is that Paul’s words were in a culture in which women had an obligation to their husbands, but men had none to their wives’. Also notice that the woman’s role of voluntarily relinquishing her rights is placed before the husband’s demonstration of headship. Their position was not to be based upon their husband’s performance. Now fellows, pay attention here. The true definition of “husbands loving their wives” is to be found in the words, “just as Christ also loved the church.” Paul leaves nothing to question as to what he means for husbands to love their wives. Now I like the fact that God only gave each partner “ONE” rule instead of some exhaustive list. A further evaluation of these two commands reveals something that is a difference between how men and women sense “love” and the reason why God gives these two commands the way He does:

Men: Define love generally speaking by “support.” Support the fellow, and he will know that you love him. You can see why Paul’s words calling for the “voluntarily relinquishing of her rights” are so important to maintain harmony in the home.
Women: Define love in terms of “security,” which will be further explained as we go along. A woman needs to feel secure in her marriage, and that is how she defines her husband’s love.

You see, God intends our marriages to be harmonious, in which we sing a duet and not a battle in which we have a duel. Paul gives four views on what “loves security” looks like for a woman.

25b Sacrificially: “gave Himself for her.” Now ladies, this does not mean that the husband is to “give in” to you and men; this does not mean that you are to “give up” on her. No, Paul is very specific as he uses Jesus’ example for His bride, you, and I, as he says that Jesus “gave Himself” for her. Now I think that this kind of sacrificial love can be seen in two ways:
Positively: It can be seen in Jesus’ example of sharing Himself with us. And so, when we give of ourselves to our wives, we ought to be sharing all of our emotions, dreams, and thoughts with our wives. This kind of sharing is sacrificial for us ladies, and it requires for us to feel supported because when we do so, you will really know how vulnerable we are.
Negatively: It can be seen in Jesus’ ultimate sacrifice for us; Jesus loved us to death, literally, the death of Himself. And so, it should be for husbands as well; we ought to love our wives to the death of ourselves. If we are loving our wives as Jesus so loves us, we will be dying to all our self-seeking pursuits, and instead we will be placing our wives interests above our own.

It is safe to say that this kind of love, as seen in sacrifice, puts far more weight upon marriage than a legal agreement or a piece of paper. Jesus was willing to sacrifice Himself for His bride, and that is what we husbands are to do as well.

26-27 Specially: Paul lists several things that Jesus does for the church, but looking at them as a whole, you can see that Jesus spoils or treats His bride as being extremely special. Jesus’ love for you and me is the kind of love that wants us to “be all we can be”! But more than just wanting this, He makes it His goal to tell us to that end. Paul lists two specific ways in which Jesus sees His bride, and then Paul reveals the two ways in which Jesus accomplishes His goal for His bride (you and I). Now remember Paul is giving these examples of Jesus towards us as what we husbands are to do towards our wives:
26 Sanctify: “He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word.” The first area deals with set apart for the designed purpose. That is what Jesus does with us in as much as you and I were created for fellowship with God, so Jesus saves us and then continually cleanses us so that we can enjoy that fellowship. Now notice what instrument He uses to ensure that we mature: “the washing of water by the word.” As this relates to our wives, they were created to be our companions and to complement us in what God has called us too. Husbands, we can do ourselves as well as our wives a favor by bringing them to the word of God. Now I’ve got to say that this is an area in which I need to apply more often towards Donna, but the amazing thing happened as we started reading the Word of God together. I felt better even though I had already had my devotion before the Lord earlier. You see, it is the water of the word of God that cleanses the character of a person, and a character that has been cleansed will be equipped to function as God has designed us!
27 Glorify: “He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.” The second thing we see here is how Jesus’ goal is to continually beautify His bride. He only does those things that attribute to her inward beauty. It appears to me looking at this section of scripture that the inward beauty of a wife is the direct result of the established work of the husband to love her in a special way. So husbands, when you call your wife “my old lady,” then take a good look in the mirror, as it is you who made her into that. Now practically, we husbands should always be asking ourselves: Does my action towards my wife help develop her more and more into who God has designed her to be? Do they make her inward character more like Christ? Fellows, if that is your goal, then I’m betting your wife won’t have a hard time voluntarily relinquishing her right to a person whose goal is to see that she is all “God wants her to be”!
28-30 Unconditionally: The words “So husbands ought” are words designed to tell us husbands that we have a divine obligation to do this. The husband’s love for his wife is also to be just as he automatically cares for himself. Paul goes to how we function towards ourselves as an illustration of this aspect of “loves security.” What is interesting is that this verse suggests to us that we are to treat our wives as we would treat other parts of our bodies. Think of this, husbands. We don’t treat our hands with anything but the utmost care, do we? When my big thumb gets in the way of the head of the hammer, I don’t call it stupid or laugh at it. No, I scream out in pain. Sticking it in the mouth protects it at all costs. Then in verse 28, Paul tells us that there are two things you and I always do with regards to our own bodies:
Nourish: We spend time every day making sure that our bodies are taken care of. I’ve heard many men say that they are not “nurtures,” but the truth is we do so every day to ourselves as we make sure that we are fed, well groomed, and rested. We continually seek to do things that we enjoy doing, don’t we men? Paul says, Just treat your wives as you treat yourselves. Your mouth tells your brain, “Hey, I’m a bit thirsty; it sure would be nice to have a glass of lemonade!” Then your brain tells the legs, arms, and hands, “Hey, mouth is a bit thirsty, let’s go get him something to drink!” Now the legs don’t say, “I’ve been on my feet all day, and what has the mouth been up to?” “Brain, you tell mouth to stick out it’s tongue and pray for rain!” No, your legs get right up, go to the fridge, and poor a nice glass of lemonade for mouth, and you know what? Why the mouth doesn’t even say thank you! And you know why the mouth doesn’t say thank you? It’s because “He who loves his mouth loves his leg’s.” Next time you are thirsty and get up to get a drink, why not ask your wife if you can get her something as well?
Cherish: In the Greek, this word means to foster tender care, so not only do we provide for the physical well-being of our bodies, but we are also constantly trying to pamper them. We buy all sorts of gadgets that foster tender care for different parts of our bodies. So too, husbands, we need to spoil our wives all the time, and not just on special occasions. Can you imagine your mouth wanting an ice cream sundae and your brain saying, “Hey, it’s not your birthday; who died and made you the boss?” No, your brain says, “Sounds good to me!” and even though the brain’s feet and hands won’t enjoy one bite, they know that mouth is going to enjoy it enough for all of them!
31 Unbreakably: The greatest human relationship apart from marriage is that between parents and child. Yet so powerful a love is this that we husbands would rather rip off our arm than have anything tear into our relationship with our wife. You see how secure that would cause our wives to feel if they experienced love that wouldn’t ever allow anything or anyone to come in between us? Paul says that for “loves” sake,” we will leave our parents and, by “gluing” bonded, to our wives. And this bond is meant to be permanent. If you have ever gone through a divorce, then you will understand what I mean by this: that no matter how bad the marriage, when you separate, you always leave a little of yourself behind and you take with you a little of them. Our bonding with our wives men is to be unbreakable.

Vs. 32-33 Finally, Paul speaks to us all in summation of the goal of marriage, which is the same as the goal of our relationship with Jesus, “Oneness”! Throughout this section, Paul has not once spoken about our “rights” in marriage; he has instead spoken to us about our “duties.” The plain fact is that our “needs” will be met only to the degree that we seek to make our spouses lives enriched in Christ.

A wife’s biggest challenge is to continue to love their husbands by supporting them by “voluntarily relinquishing their rights.”.

And a husband’s biggest challenge will be to continue to love their wives in a way that causes them to feel secure, which will be sacrificially, specially, unconditionally, and unbreakably.