David, “Friendship”
2 Samuel 17:1–29
Vs. 1-14 The words of friends
Vs. 15-29 The actions of friends
Intro
In the 23rd verse of chapter 16, we are told that “the advice of Ahithophel, which he gave in those days, was as if one had inquired at the oracle of God. So was all the advice of Ahithophel, both with David and with Absalom.” At one time Ahithophel and David had been best friends, as David wrote of his surprise at his defection with Absalom in Ps. 55:13–14, saying, “It was you, a man my equal, my companion, and my acquaintance. We took sweet counsel together and walked to the house of God in the throng.” David had obvious respect for Ahithophel’s gifting, as when he first heard of his defection, he prayed in 15:31. “O LORD, I pray, turn the counsel of Ahithophel into foolishness!”
This chapter is about friendship, and David will be surprised at where he finds it. Someone has well said that “you can always tell a real friend by the fact that when you’ve made a fool of yourself, they don’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.” David will come to realize what we have experienced in our own lives: “The truly great person is the one who makes every person feel great. A friend is one who knows you as you are, understands where you’ve been, accepts who you’ve become, and still gently invites you to grow.”
The words of friends
Vs. 1-4 As new king, Absalom had two main objectives:
- Make sure that the nation saw him as the ruler, not David.
- Make sure that David didn’t try to return and take the kingdom.
The solution to both of these was to find and kill his father, so he turned to his two advisers for counsel on how to obtain the objective. Quite simply, from a military perspective, apart from divine intervention, had Absalom followed Ahithophel’s advice, David would be dead. In Ahithophel’s 2nd counsel to Absalom is an underlying tone that he wanted to be the one to put David down; he would select 12,000 men, he would lead the army, and he would kill David by way of a sudden attack at night while David was still west of the Jordan River. Militarily, his counsel was solid, as it was quick and unexpected and would have spared civil war. One can only wonder how Ahithophel’s words calling David the king might have caused Absalom to wonder about his counsel. David saw Ahithophel as his friend, but clearly this was not how Ahithophel saw David, as he says to Absalom, “I will strike only the king” (verse 2), “Give me 12,000 men, and I’ll take care of your dad.” Ahithophel’s counsel was right on the money, as David was weak, and with 12,000 men against 600, he would have been defeated, except for the fact that God would not have allowed it.
Man, that’s a heartache to find out that someone you have been close with now wants to come and kill you, and furthermore, that this counsel pleased your son as well as all the elders of Israel who once were on your side. If you have ever been in a place of leadership within the church or a boss at work and then you go through a difficult season, you will sadly discover who your friends are and aren’t. Don’t misunderstand me. David isn’t innocent; he’s messed up and certainly has blown it, but he is also a broken repentant man that now needs friends to ensure that they point him towards the Lord.
Hushai’s advice and reasons for it had many points:
- Vs. 7 First, with regards to Ahithophel’s plan, it was a “good idea, bad timing” so as not to make enemies.
- Vs. 8 Second He supported this by making mention that David would be twice as fierce as normal. Hushai does a masterful job of selling Absalom on his plan by saying that David would be like “a bear robbed of her cubs in the field.”.
- Vs. 9a David would be too smart to stay with the troops, and the soldiers were after all mighty men experienced in warfare, having done this while Saul chased them.
- Vs. 9b-10 Hushai also suggested that the Ahithophel winner take all approach lacked a backup plan as defeat would mean defection.
- Vs. 11 What seemed to appeal the most to Absalom concerning Hushai’s plan was that he would lead the army and defeat David and not Ahithophel. Psalm 33:10-11 says, “The LORD brings the counsel of the nations to nothing; He makes the plans of the peoples of no effect. The counsel of the LORD stands forever; the plans of His heart to all generations.”
This is a clear indication that David’s prayer in 2 Samuel 15:31 was answered as Absalom asked for a 2nd opinion after such wise, well-received counsel. In this case, God used Hushai as a double agent to do two things:
- First, take the “fight” out of Absalom by calling attention to what David used to be, “a bear robbed of her cubs.”.
- Then, by taking the “flight” out by suggesting time to gather a full-scale invasion.
Hey saints, Sometimes God confuses the counsel, sometimes he defeats the enemy, but it matters not the method He employs as the battle belongs to the Lord. You will recall that in 15:31, upon hearing the news that his one-time trusted friend and chief adviser had defected to Absalom, David prayed that God would turn the counsel of Ahithophel into foolishness. Perhaps David thought that God would somehow change the wisdom of Ahithophel, but God chose rather to change the hearts of those who heard it.
My point? Don’t put the answers to your prayers in a box; let His will be done His way, His timing, and keep trusting! You see, sometimes our lack of being able to figure out how God is going to do something will hinder either our prayers beforehand or our trusting in the midst of circumstances. Paul wrote in Rom 11:33, “How unsearchable are His judgments and His ways past finding out!” In Hab. 1:5, God spoke through saying, “I will do a work in your days which you would not believe, though it were told you.” (See Acts 13:41). I have yet in all the years of following the Lord to have Him come to me and say, “Now, Dale, I’m going to do this and that this way; what do you think?” If God ever did, I’d be saying, “You’re going to do what, when, where, WHY?” Consider the plan of God for our redemption, the sending of His only son in the likeness of sinful man, and by His death we gain victory, the proof of which was His resurrection. Now how many resurrections had happened prior to Jesus’? Hey saints, God is not limited by our comprehension; our understanding is that He who spoke the world into existence is able, and as we sing, “more than able to do much more than I can ever conceive.”.
Vs. 12-14 The suggestion that Absalom go in battle in person appealed to his sense of vanity so that he could appear to be a mighty soldier like his dad. That is one of the major differences between Ahithophel’s plan and Hushai, as Ahithophel was to lead the battle, but in Hushai’s plan, Absalom was to lead the battle. This was the first time anyone favored someone else’s advice over Ahithophel.
The truth of the matter is that the throne of Israel didn’t belong to Absalom or David; it belonged to the Lord, and only David understood that. Absalom had the wise counselor on his side, but as we are told in James 5:16, “The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” Thus this proves that the bended knee moves the hand of God, not the wisdom of any man. Hey saints, mark this down: we cannot escape God. Oh, we may be able to outwit halfwits; we may be able to pull the wool over on those who can’t see straight, but never will we be able to slide one by the Lord. He alone knows the thoughts and intents of the heart, and there is no place we can hide from His eyes. Take note that even at this time God was with David; far too often we confuse God’s discipline with abandonment. Hey saints, God promised to, “never leave you nor forsake you,” so even when His hand is heavy upon us, it is not for our destruction but rather for our instruction.
Verse 14 tells us the reason why Hushai’s advice was taken over that of Ahithophel. The Lord wanted to bring Absalom’s pride down to defeat in battle, so He has caused Hushai’s words to appeal to his flesh. Now this counsel appealed to the flesh of Absalom, and it made him feel like a king, so all around him said, “Hey, I’d go with plan B.” Hey Christian, listen up. Any counsel that appeals to our flesh, any counsel that causes us to appear to be great and makes us feel like we are the most important person around, you can bet is not from God. The Lord had been at work to defeat the advice of Ahithophel, so no matter what, God was not going to let Absalom reign as king, and even if he had the best and wisest counselors, God was going to turn their advice to foolishness. What is interesting to note is that there was no external evidence that the Lord was at work in David’s life, but he was at work behind the scenes.
The actions of friends
Vs. 15-22 Now Hushai needed to get word out to Zadok and Abiathar, the priests, so they could let David know that he needed to cross over the Jordan, so they sent their two boys, Jonathan and Ahimaaz, to tell David and ended up having to stay the night outside the city by the well of Enrogel, Known as the “Virgin’s fountain” (‘Ain Sitti Maryam), or “Well of Nehemiah”. David and his 600 men were camped 20 miles from Jerusalem, and Hushai had the two sons of the priests as runners about 1 mile from the city, who then ran to another house, but a young lad saw them and told Absalom, who went on a search for the hidden spies.
This story reminds us of another brave gal, “Rahab,” who hid two spies in Joshua 2, and later on is found to be the mother of Boaz and, as such, in the genealogy of Jesus. Now what’s interesting, is that this is the very area in which Mephibosheth had dwelt all those years until David sent for him. Apparently they were seen by a fellow who went and told Absalom, so they had to go further into the area of Gilgal and hide in a well so that when Absalom’s men came in search of them, they were well hidden.
Hey saints, here are folks who haven’t ever met David who are risking their lives to protect him, and they are showing themselves to be better friends than those who were at one time the closest to David. Consider Jesus, who knew we were sinners, knew that we were against Him, even mocked him, and yet He still was willing to die for us. Amazing what kind of friend Jesus was towards us even before we made Him our best friend.
Vs. 23-26 Ahithophel, having known that his counsel was rejected, realized that under Hushai’s plan, Absalom would be defeated, and he would then be implicated in the conspiracy, so he feels the only way out is to commit suicide or self-murder. When a person gives into suicide, they are showing that they have given in to the lies and deceptions of Satan, whose purpose is to kill and destroy (John 10:10). As we saw in the case of Saul, when a person has gotten to the place where they are wanting to kill their physical body, they are committing the ultimate selfish act. Instead of killing off the physical, they should seek to kill off the self-centered lifestyle that refuses to die even to the place where it will end its earthly existence to sustain its selfish ways. Spurgeon noted that Ahithophel’s actions were paradoxical, as “putting his house in order revealed that he was a prudent man, but hanging himself showed that he was a fool.” Shall a man have discretion and desperation, mind and madness?
Ahithophel, this wise man, sets his house in order but then kills himself. What happened to him? Well, for 11 plus years, Ahithophel allowed bitterness over his granddaughter Bathsheba and best friend of his son Uriah’s murder fester in his heart. So when things finally turned to where he had the opportunity to get even for these situations and it failed, he took his own life. So what killed Ahithophel? A rope, no, his heart drowned in its own bitterness; the rope was merely the instrument that took away his breath, but his life had been slowly choking on bitterness for 11 years.
Listen, because Ahithophel’s death can speak to our hearts about the danger of bitterness remaining in our hearts towards someone; your hatred of them isn’t hurting them as much as it is killing you, so why not give that over to the Lord? I’m not telling you that Ahithophel’s anger towards David was not justified; what I am saying is that he couldn’t afford the price even on the installment plan. Someone once said that “bitterness is like swallowing a bottle of poison and waiting for the other person to die!” Your bitterness, like Ahithophel, will “hang you up; it’ll bury you,” or you can take all that anger and bitterness and place it upon Jesus and let Him bury it for you so that He can raise you up as a new person. It is interesting to note that both Ahithophel and Absalom will end up hanging, but they are two very different men that end up the same. Absalom never got started, and he finished the same way, but Ahithophel started well but just didn’t finish as he had started.
Yet there are multitudes who have not heeded the words of Jesus in Matt. 6:19-21 to not “lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Far too many in the world (put their household in order) by saving their money, gather possessions at the expense of the hearts in eternity. We were talking about this the other night at a men’s prayer: “Mankind are eternal beings; the only question that remains is: what destination have we chosen to make our eternal home?”
Vs. 26 Absalom crossed over the Jordan with all the men of Israel, which made him look good, but without any experience on the battlefield, it was a bad personal decision. As such, Absalom’s pride and wanting to appear what he wasn’t, ensured his death; pride kills. He made Amasa (burden), the son of a niece of David and a cousin of Joab, captain instead of Joab.
Vs. 27-29 Mahanaim was the former capital when Ishbosheth was king, as well as the place where Jacob had wrestled with the Lord. The mention of Shobi (glorious), Machir (sold), and Barzillai (strong as iron) is because they helped David in a great time of need. Now note this Christians, these fellows were not warriors; they were servants who stepped forward to aid those in need. So often we think, “Man, I can’t do anything; I have no special abilities!” God isn’t in need of our abilities; He is in need of our availability! To step up when people are in need to offer aid when people are down was as great as what the army could offer David because, without these three men, the army would have had no strength to fight. The beds and basins were of greater use than swords and shields; the pots of wheat, barley, flour, and beans were of greater need than an army of 100,000. The honey and curds, sheep and cheese of greater service than the wisest of counselors. Never underestimate what God would have us to do for others; perhaps the smallest of offerings is of the greatest need! David comes to Mahanaim, where Jacob wrestled with the Lord and lost. And all of these fellows come out to bless David and to refresh him.
Now these three fellows have every reason not to be of service:
Shobi: “Glorious” Now we are told that he was “the son of Nahash from Rabbah of the people of Ammon.” Yeah, so? Well, his brother was Hanun, whom we were told in 2 Sam 10 shaved the beards and cut the garments of David’s servants, causing them to be “embarrassed,” and then waged war against him and defeated them soundly, taking the fight out of them. Now this fellow stands in stark contrast to that of Ahithophel, as he could have said, Help David, why that guy killed my brother and wiped out my family. Now that’s “Glorious” as he comes to aid his brother’s enemy.
Machir: “Sold” He is the fellow in whose house Mephibosheth stayed all those years until David came and got him. He could have said, “Help David, man, I’ve been involved in serving for a long time; it’s someone else’s turn this time!” But he didn’t why? Well, because Machir is “sold out” for the Lord, the guy is a servant, ready, willing, and available.
Barzillai: “Strong as iron.” In 19:32 we will find out that this fellow is 80 years old, and he could have said, “Man, I’m 80. I’ve hauled my fair share of beds in my life. I’m retired. I’m going to take it easy.” But he didn’t see it that way and went out to be a friend.
We all could take a lesson from these three men when it comes to serving, as it is “glorious to be sold out in the Lord’s strength.” Now notice that they went to David when he was hungry, tired, and in the wilderness. That’s our calling, saints; that’s what we are called to do even to someone who has done you wrong, even if you served last time, even if you’re old.
Joshua entered the land of promise by faith, and David left the land of promise by faith. Hey brothers and sisters, let us do to each other what Hebrews 10:24-25 says: “Let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the day approaching.”