Barnabas 4

WEEK FOUR

TWO SPLENDORS

2 Cor. 3:7-11

Living in the New Covenant doesn’t mean that I don’t work or get tired. What it does mean can be found in Romans 8:11, “But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.” In other words, it means that God is the one working through you. He is the one giving you and I life and strength. The New Covenant means that God’s sufficiency is enough for every need and situation. My identity does not come from my work or career, but from God through Jesus. This does not resolve us from responsibility, but rather show us that God’s strength is the only way we will be able to fulfill our responsibilities.

READ 2 COR. 3:7-11

In this passage Paul uses two examples to illustrate what he meant by the Old Covenant and the New Covenant. The first example is the Old Covenant seen in Exodus 33:18-23 and 34:24-35. It is represented by the glory that shone on Moses when he came down from Mt. Sinai with the Ten Commandments. This glory, though truly glorious, is seen as fading (2 Cor. 3:7, 11). The second example represents the New Covenant and its glory as seen in the face of Jesus which never fades but only becomes more glorious (2 Cor. 3:11 and 4:6).

Notice verse 7 as Paul says that the Old Covenant has a certain glory about it as Moses carried down the Ten Commandments, being the basis of God’s agreement between Himself and man. They still attract men today, with their high moral standards and lists of dos and don’ts. People are attracted to them because in trying to keep them, we can claim that there is something “I” can do to be right before God. This is what is called “churchianity”. This is a practice that states, “I am significant because of what I am doing for God rather than what God (through His Son) has done for me.” It appears in my speaking of the tithes I give, or my position in the church, or listing the “things” I’ve done for God.

Before we become Christians, we had no choice by which covenant we were to operate under because we were all slaves to sin. The world lives constantly looking into the face of Moses (which represents “religion”). It is interesting to note that in Latin, the word “religion” means “the law that binds”.

But we believers have a choice by which we can live. We can be living by the Old Covenant or the New Covenant, but never both at the same time. Paul calls the law (Old Covenant) the “dispensation of death” (2 Cor. 3:7). But in Romans 7:12, Paul calls the law “…the commandment holy and just and good.” This seems to be a contradiction. How could the shining face of Moses that came about by spending forty days alone with God be called a symbol of something that kills? This apparent contradiction is cleared up when we read Romans 7:7, “What shall we say then? Is the law sin? Certainly not! On the contrary, I would not have known sin except through the law…” The flesh, spiritually speaking, is not flesh and bones but our fallen human nature. The law was never designed to make our flesh right before God. We read in Hebrews 7:19, “…for the law made nothing perfect.” Again, Romans 8:3 tells us why the law could not make us right before God, “For what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin: He condemned sin in the flesh.”

If the law could make us right before God, then Jesus did not need to die on the cross. In

1 Timothy 1:8-10, we again see the reason for the law, “But we know that the law is good if one uses it lawfully, knowing this: that the law was not made for a righteous person (one saved by faith in Jesus), but for the lawless and insubordinate, for the ungodly and for sinners, for the unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for manslayers, for fornicators, for sodomites, for kidnappers, for liars, for perjurers, and if there is any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine.” Note that it says, “anything contrary to sound doctrine”. The law is not just for sinners but also for anything of the flesh. For as Romans 3:20 says, “…therefore by the deeds of the law, no flesh will be justified in His sight, for by the law is the knowledge of sin”.

Paul says the same thing, as we have already noted, in Galatians 3:24, “Therefore the law was our tutor to bring us to Christ, that we might be justified by faith.” So, what happens when Christians try to live under the power of our own fleshly effort (the law)? Galatians 5:17 tells us, “For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish.” The very thing we are using to make us right before God (the law) ends up keeping us from living by faith.

Adam is a good example of this. Adam was prior to the fall, a perfect man who always operated in the “New Covenant”. But after the fall, he was immediately trying to cover himself in his own efforts. That is the “Old Covenant” way of living. Ephesians 2:1-2 tells what happened to him. He was invaded by a foreign power “who works in the sons of disobedience”. When Adam died spiritually, all he had left were memories of the relationship he once had with God. He was no longer able to maintain that relationship. The flesh is human energy, acting apart from God, somehow manipulated by Satan. It has an inward direction and is “self serving” in attitude.

The Old Covenant is “distorted love”. From the outside it can appear good. But its motives are always self-centered. Its glory is attractive to us because we get to claim our value apart from God, even though its glory is steadily fading and has to be propped up by our pride.

The New Covenant, on the other hand, is the Spirit of God working through the child of God. This is the only thing that is a delight to God. It does not attract attention to itself. The key for us is to realize what covenant we are in.

How to Enable My Wife

Ephesians 5:25, in the NLT, exhort those of us who are husbands saying, “…you husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church.” As we look at all of Paul’s words directed to husbands’ responsibilities, we could summarize them into one word “ENABLE”. Webster’s Dictionary defines “enable” as “to provide with the means or opportunity”. Thus, to enable our wives is to provide the means and opportunity so that God can draw out the best in them. It is our great privilege to be the primary instrument by which the Lord will cause our wives to discover who the Lord has made them to both be, as well as do. How do we do this? We’ll primarily be providing an atmosphere of acceptance so that they will joyfully choose to step out and risk, which will in turn, cause them to grow in His grace and knowledge. In Ephesians 5:25-33, Paul lists eight ways in which men can enable their wives:

Love your wives with the same love Christ showed the Church
Give up your life for her
To make her holy and clean, washed by baptism and God’s Word
To present her to Himself as a glorious Church without spot or wrinkle or any other blemish
She will be holy and without fault
Husbands’ ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies
A man leaves his father and mother, and is joined to his wife
The two are united into one

Why do we husbands seem unable to accomplish this? In my opinion, it comes down to two things:

Lack of role models: that is to say we, for the most part, never saw our dads or even other Christians making these things a priority in the home
Fear of failure: our pride often gets in our way, and we don’t want to appear to be incompetent, so we never try at all.

Proverbs 24:16 reminds us that “…for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again.” Seven as you will recall, is the number of perfection. Simply put life in general, and specifically as it relates to husbands enabling their wives, is a process of falling perfectly and then learning from our mistakes. So, allow me to share some of the things I have learned from other husbands as well as my own mistakes over 26 years. I offer you 16 ways to enable your wife to become who the Lord wants her to become. Try these on for size, one at a time, as not to get overwhelmed or discouraged. If they don’t fit, lay them aside. Maybe they will fit later, maybe they never will. Oh, but the ones that fit, wear around for a while till you become comfortable in them. Take your time, enjoy the process, and as you do, you will see your wives grow in His grace.

Demonstrate rather than demand: Model what you want instead of dictation! All of us have different expectations when we come into our marriages. Some of us are neat freaks, others are messier. Usually, the couple agrees on a general rule of cleanliness. In our house we made the rule that “People were more important than dust”. But as we began to be blessed with children, and afterwards as my wife went back to work, I began to notice that the house began to look a little worn. I started to think to myself that the floors sure could use a good washing, and the toilets didn’t look good, and the Lord did a great thing in my heart. He spoke to me about what He would do if He were me, “Why I became convinced that He would wash the floors and clean the toilets!” I didn’t hint or complain about what I noticed; instead, I just started doing what needed to be done. What I realized is that this enabled her to have more time with the Lord as well as with me. If I want the toothpaste rolled up a certain way, then I take care of it. If I like the room picked up a little more often, then I do it. I demonstrate my expectations and never preach them. I give her credit for having intelligence. My wife is perfectly able to see the benefits of the things that I see, and two sets of hands make for lighter work for both. There is hypocrisy at times in my life when I expect my wife to do something that I am unwilling to do myself. So, if I am unwilling to provide the solution, then I have no right to preach about it.

Share everything with her: Don’t build an intimate relationship with anyone else and not with her. Never share anything personal with anyone else that you haven’t shared with your wife – your hopes, dreams, frustrations, failures, and fears. If the Lord speaks something to you about your life, go and tell it to your wife first before you share it with others. What this communicates is that she is your closest and best friend, and that we are one with them, and them alone.

Far too many men build close relationships with family members, co-workers or even other brothers and sisters in Christ instead of their wives. Our wives are designed in such a way as to be thrilled when we trust them with so much of ourselves. They want to fit into our lives like a puzzle piece and they are the best suited for it. We husbands need to take our wives on a personal tour of who we are so they can be familiar with us.

The word “submit” which Paul uses for wives towards their husbands is a word that carries with it the idea of adaptation. I believe that, in many a case, women struggle with submission (adaptation) because they are not familiar with our shape and that is because we have never shown it to them.

Another common problem is that our shape is like that of an ameba which is constantly changing and just can’t nail us down on anything. The reason we do this is that we are afraid that if our wives really knew us, they wouldn’t like us. We put up this false macho image that says we don’t need anybody or anything. The truth is, as soon as we share what is really going on in our lives our wives respond with the care of a mother towards their hurting child. We need to let our wives into those hidden parts of our lives and trust them with our imperfections.

Our wives are not as concerned with what happened to us today as they are with how we are feeling about what happened. They are designed to adapt to us. They were created by God to be our counterpart to complement us. Men generally feel intimate when they have physical intimacy with their wives. Women feel intimate when they connect psychologically with their husbands. Men make a mistake in their communication with their wives when all they talk about is the day’s events, instead of what we are thinking and feeling about those events.

Try sitting down with your wife and sharing with her for five minutes about the most difficult thing that you went through the past week or the thing that got you the most excited. Tell her an area that you would like her to pray with you on. The bottom line, fellows, is we need to be vulnerable with our wives as this allows them to feel close to us because we have let them into every part of us!

No matter what her questions or concerns, respond to them as if they are important. Women often complain that their husbands just don’t listen and if we do, then we treat them as if they are dumb. We need to be more concerned with keeping our communication open with them than we do expressing our opinion.

If my wife is ignored or put off in her attempts to communicate with me, she will stop coming to me and think I don’t care for her. But if I treat her communication with respect then she will come to see that I’m on her side and that the two of us is more important than the one of me. I’ve been guilty in times past of making fun of her publicly; cutting her down. Nothing destroys intimacy quicker than having the one whom you love, and put your trust in, making fun of you in front of others. We need to praise our wives in public, and if need be, correct them privately.

We need to be there for them emotionally as well, so that they will want to come to us. This is best accomplished when we learn to listen and not give them our advice or opinion. Just like us, they need to be supported and encouraged. In the rare occasion when what they want to do is harmful, or not Biblical, then we ought to express our love and concern. Husbands who have developed a habit of listening to their wives will see that their wives will respect their opinions. Women generally like decisive men; men with goals and vision but ones that will include them into those goals and visions. Honesty evokes respect as well. When we are men of our word and unwilling to compromise on truth, our wife’s love for us will grow.

Women want their husbands to be men who will stand up for them and protect them, yet are gentle, compassionate and caring towards them. A poll came out that asked women what was the number one characteristic they wanted in a potential husband. “Tenderness” was what they said.

Do we put down the newspaper, turn off the TV and refuse to answer the phone when our wives are speaking to us? Oft times, it is these things, more than anything else, that demonstrates that we love them!

Listen to her. Give her the freedom to think out loud, to brainstorm. Don’t criticize or critique what she is saying. Women are far more verbal than men are, speaking twice as much as men do.

Our wives long to connect with us. When we listen, we affirm her and cause her to feel important and treasured. Empathize with what is on her heart by putting yourself in her. Don’t make her feel as if she has to convince you, to get you to understand her. Watch her body language as she speaks, as it will often convey her heart. Sometimes what our wives wear and how they do their hair will communicate how they are doing and the need to communicate. Eye contact can tell you if they feel confident or uneasy about something. If they are down about something, bring them up by suggesting that together you do something that your wife enjoys.

Far too often, my wife has had to ask for something rather than me picking up on her needs and suggesting that we go out or I pour her a bath so she can have some down time. All of this tells her, that to me, she is the most important person on this planet. If we would just be sensitive and tenderhearted husbands and listen to them, we would hear far less nagging and far more bragging about us! In general, people always respond better, and desire to change, when they know that someone is one their side. We must be careful not to do these things in order to manipulate them to do what we want them to do. Our wives need to be won by demonstration and not by manipulation (the raping of the will).

Far too many of us, during the dating process, did everything to convince our wives that we were the right men for them and have stopped doing these things which conveyed our commitment. We need to continue to win our wives and date them, showing them that we are who we claimed to be when we asked them to be our wives. We could have both chosen someone else. To show them that they made the right choice in you, we need to continually win them, showing them that we don’t take them for granted. We need to be husbands that continue to desire to grow in our own relationships with the Lord. It is from this that we will desire to date our wives.

Build her confidence in Christ. Our wives don’t need to be our sidekick in all things. Instead, we need to encourage them in their ideas and goals. We need to be their cheerleader, causing them to feel secure enough to step out in something new, even if they fail, as we will be right there beside them. Sometimes our wives will need to be guided to start out on a smaller scale, so as to not become overwhelmed.

Spiritually, we need to be husbands that affirm our wives relationship, and need for, Jesus and never be a substitute for it. We can best do this by sharing our failures and praying together.

Get to know all of her. Develop the ability to not only listen to “what” she is saying but understand “why” she is saying it. We all want people around us that can read through our insecurities and our inability to communicate to what we are really going through. If our wives are moody, then we need to respond by doing more listening and empathizing than talking. It is a wise husband who can anticipate his wife’s monthly cycle and not take her moodiness personally. Instead, if you know her mood change, counter it by being what she needs during the week or so that she is not feeling well.

Where we stand on a position is in direct perspective to where we sit. So learn to see things from her point of view. “If I were my wife right now, in this situation, how would I feel?” We can be supportive without having to be in agreement first. Our wives will never feel one with us if they don’t experience our support.

When low times come, try these three things:

Get her involved in someone else’s life by asking her, “How is so-and-so doing?” This helps her to look outside of her own problems and cares, and into caring for someone else.
Give her a new experience that affirms her strengths. Something that she is good at, that can build her up for a season, is always helpful.
Share together the Lord’s past blessings. Low times are often used by Satan to discourage us from seeing the Lord’s faithfulness. We often begin to fall into the feeling that what we are going through is a punishment or that God has lost control of our circumstances. We need to remind ourselves that we start with what we know to be true about God and use that to interpret who God is and not the other way around.

Believe in our wives. Ask ourselves regularly, “What is the Lord doing in my bride’s life?” Then take the time to express her progress in what the Lord is doing. Our wives need, and crave, as we do, affirmation especially as it relates to spiritual matters. Show her that you believe in her gifting and calling that God has given her. Remark on how you have seen the Lord work in her life toward others. Often time, people who are going through a process of maturity can’t see that this is what is happening to them.

We need to continually give our wives the vision for their potential in Christ and help them slowly blossom in His calling. Make sure that we encourage, rather than condemn, when they fail – not making mountains out of molehills. Much of what stands as correction towards our wives, is nothing more than stroking our own egos. Are we treating our wives as Christ would treat us in this same situation? If we came to Jesus with the same mistakes that our wives have made, would He be condemning or would He say instead, “I see your heart. I know you are grieved at your failure. You are forgiven. So let’s go from here!” Can we do any less towards our wives?

If you can’t affirm them, then say nothing and deal with it later, apart from your emotions and never publicly. In public, honor and support, as we are one in Christ, not two individuals seeking to score at the other’s expense. There is a phrase that I say to myself often as it relates to the little petty disagreements I have with my wife, “There is something better than being right, and it is loving her!”

Be sensitive to her needs. Learn to accept you wife where she is and leave it up to the Lord to change her weaknesses. My role is to delight in her strengths, to be her biggest fan and be enthused by her accomplishments and not point out her flaws. I can do this by not always giving advice and saving it until she asks for it, realizing that sometimes, like me, she just needs a sounding board. If we fall into the trap of always giving our advice when our wives are trying to communicate, then soon they will learn to share with us only when they want our advice, which will mean that there will be little communication. When our wives do need our advice, lead them to it so that they can have the joy of discovery instead of being dogmatic. Keep your counsel general and not specific and don’t judge the motive of her heart, as we don’t know that.

As far as intimacy is concerned, most husbands have no idea how to serve their wives in this area. Far too often, our knowledge of women has come from the street, our buddies, or other worldly sources. Instead of romancing our wives, we tend to just co-habitat with them. Instead of loving them, we treat them as if they are one of the guys in the locker room. In 1 Peter 3:7, Peter said, “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life.” The word vessel is a word used for an instrument used for worship in the temple. Peter is not suggesting that our wives are weaker mentally, morally or spiritually but rather physically. Therefore, we are to treat them as a special treasure.

Christian women have made the following comments about those things that hinder intimacy in their marriage:

Having unresolved conflicts and the husband still expecting to be intimate
Impatient love making, the husband not taking the time for romance
Dutiful intimacy, the feeling that he is just doing so because he has to
Body odors: be that alcohol, cigarettes or just sweat
Crude remarks or comments that treat intimacy as something casual, such as “Hey, let’s do it”
A husband that is not involved with them emotionally but just treats them as an object for their pleasure
Being overly rough and aggressive
A lack of concern about the timing and location of intimacy
A husband who is overly impressed with his own physique and endowment
A husband who is not concerned about how his wife views certain aspects of intimacy
A husband who does not understand the differences between the fact that men are excited by sight and their wives are excited by touch. Women take 15-20 minutes, on average, to reach orgasm, whereas men are there in 3-5 minutes
A husband who has no regard for pregnancy
A husband who does not take into consideration that they may be interrupted
Being so tired physically or emotionally, and the feeling that they are being forced into intimacy
Children awake or in the same room, pets or other interruptions
Being suddenly grabbed in vital areas
A husband who does not assume the responsibility for a romantic evening but still wants to be intimate
Not listening or interacting with his wife throughout the day and then suddenly, desiring intimacy
Lack of good grooming and general cleanliness
Having the TV on during foreplay or intimacy
Belching or other body sounds and odors; just a general lack of class and maturity
Macho self-centered attitude
Any intimacy that is experimental that the wife is not comfortable with
The player mentality and flirtatious with other women
What the husband wears to bed and his general physical condition

Keep our commitments to her. Our wives need to see, by our actions, that they are more important to us than any other thing. Being on time is the easiest way that we can show our wives that we are more committed to them and the vows we made to them, than we are to our schedules.

Do our actions convey to our wives that the things that we are involved in are more important that her and the things that she’s into? When we are going to run late, do we call them and let them know that something has come up? Over the years, I’ve been guilty of not calling her or not asking her if we can change the schedule of things that we had agreed together to do. I’m sorry to say that my actions have, at times, really hurt her. Now every time I start to head home, I call her to let her know that I’m on my way. With the invention of e-mail and cell phones, we men have no more excuses.

Furthermore, I have developed a habit of always asking her permission before making, or accepting, an invitation with someone to get together. This includes mutual friends and family. My brother used to just drop over all the time, just to hang out, usually around dinnertime. So, I took him aside and told him that I loved to hang out with him, but that he needed to call and check with me first. My wife loved the fact that I placed her above my family!

Our wives love to feel secure, and our reliability, aids in this. Our being flexible and having contingency plans doesn’t necessarily replace the original one we have made together unless we both agreed upon the change. We need to follow through with the promises we vowed to her before the Lord, to forsake all other to be one with her. Our wives need for us to continue to make them feel desirable and beautiful as the first time we set eyes on them.

Be aware of their spiritual health. Do we know right now where they are spiritually and what we can do to lift them up? Is she going through a season of dryness? Am I praying for her, and with her? Would she benefit from hearing a specific teacher, worship album or getting together with another mature sister in Christ? This is part of caring for her needs as Christ does for His Church. We need to lead by example and not lord over them as being their boss.

We must be ever on guard, of being on the throne of their hearts instead of Jesus. Fellows, we make a very poor substitute for Jesus. Walk with them towards the Lord and realize wherever they are spiritually, since we are one with them, we are there as well! Having a devotional time by reading a commentary or listening to a tape and then discussing how the Lord spoke to each of you is a great way to build each other up in your faith.

Another way to grow closer to the Lord, and each other, is to find a ministry that you both can serve in together. Men often fail to realize that they are the pastors of their home and are the ones primarily responsible for their wife’s spiritual growth or lack of it. Remember men – a pastor leads, a professor lectures. Let’s be pastors, not professors!

Be aware of her social needs. Do our wives have enough friends that they can interact with? Mothers of preschoolers often feel trapped and long for adult conversation. We can accommodate this by taking the ankle biters off their hands for an afternoon so they can go to the ladies’ study or out to lunch with the sisters once a week. It is not just our wife’s responsibility to raise the children and change the diapers. It is ours as well.

Some of our wives work full or part time outside the home and they too need social interaction outside of work. It is a wise husband who begins to implement time management when they are home so they can free up time for their wives. It is a good thing for us, on a regular basis, to do the laundry, vacuum, do the dishes or even cook the meal so that she can get together with other women. Our wives need, as we do, to just have fun and enjoy relationships that don’t have tasks involved to them. I love to see my wife laugh and giggle as if she were sixteen again. It rejuvenates her and makes the grind of day-to-day task living bearable. There ought to be a balanced diet of people in her social life. Some people are protein, full of vitamins and nutrients; others just taste sweet and are delicious to be around. The fact is we need both!

Share with her what you are thinking. We men have a tendency to just spring things on our wives that we have been contemplating for a long time. It is a wise husband that regularly seeks counsel from his wife. Proverbs 25:11-12 says, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. Like an earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold.” It is no coincidence that Solomon used the illustration of an earring to describe a word fitly spoken!

Try not to preach or command when sharing what you are thinking but rather solicit their input. The best way to do this is to share from the first person, “Honey, I was thinking about __________ and wondering what you thought about __________?” Oft times, our communication is only satisfying our insecurity to be in charge over someone. Fellows, love without accountability is sentimentality. But accountability without love is brutality!

We all need to gain perspective and realize that feelings are legitimate, but they are not reality, only God’s Word is reality! Once we have sought out our wife’s advice, put it into our lives. This is the number one reason we Christians don’t grow in our relationship with the Lord or our wives. Oh, we talk about change – reading our Bibles more, spending more time with our wives – but we never have a plan of action. Plans without goals are like kites without string – they won’t stay in the air long! The best person for me to make myself accountable to, is my wife. She sees me more than anyone else.

Take her advice. How open am I to her advice and correction? Do I tend to get defensive when she comes to me about an area? Far too often, we men can come across as arrogant and self-righteous because we won’t take advice or correction from our wives. When we do this, we not only kill communication, but we also stunt our own spiritual growth as well as model the wrong attitudes toward our children. But when you and I take advice and correction, we demonstrate teachability and humility, thus ensuring our blessing!

Never dominate her. We can do this in so many ways – physically, intellectually, emotionally, as well as spiritually. Peter reminds us men in 1 Peter 3:7, “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.” Do you see that, men? We are “heirs together of the grace of life”. Our wives are equal to us and ought to be made to feel as such. They don’t need a boss to manage them, a father to keep them in line. No, they desire a best friend who will love them right where they are. In our house, I have no “My’s”, only “Ours” and it is my joy to promote what she does, and is, above myself!

Be a model. In Christian growth and maturity, I should always seek to be the first to change and not wait until she does. In honesty, I should set the tone when it comes to being honest about my failures and need for forgiveness. In problem solving, I need to model not just the solution, but the process of discovery which will always start with the honest failure and how the Lord loved me, to where I trusted Him. It is always more important to teach people to fish than it is to just catch the fish for them. Good home leadership is more interested in the “how-to’s and why’s” and not just the “what’s”. We need to be specific in the areas of change and growth in our lives and not just general. Far too often we say, “I need to love my wife more!” instead of saying, “I need to love my wife more by doing more around the house, calling her when I’m running late and dating her once a week!” The first way is a true statement with no way of measuring success. The second way not only recognizes the need but also has modeled a commitment to accomplish it.

Don’t settle for second best. Far too often when something is not right, we are willing to settle for it being broken. Shabbiness and mediocrity are not signs of being under grace; they are rather excuses for remaining in the flesh. We need to continue to be faithful stewards of the treasure of the wives God has given us. We ought to continually seek quality in our relationship with our wives, wanting to be more in love with them today, than we were the day before. I want a greater depth of love with her and I’m not willing to settle for what I have now and I’m willing to yield, whatever area of my life to the Lord, that will accomplish this in our relationship. Far too many men have fallen into the trap of thinking that bringing home a paycheck ends their commitment of demonstrating their love towards their wives.

Fellows, I want my wife to know that on this earth, she is my best friend, only lover, trusted adviser, and greatest gift outside of my eternal salvation, God has ever given me!

Let’s spend the rest of this time God has given us, committed to demonstrating this to our wives.

GROWTH OPPORTUINTY QUESTIONS

WEEK FOUR

Two Splendors

As I apply the teaching of 2 Cor. 3:7-11 to my life:

Specifically, what are at least 5 examples of how I have been attracted by the splendor represented by Moses’ face?

What are the distinguishing differences between the two splendors?

Is the law holy or deadly? Explain your answer.

Read Philippians 4:8-9 several times over the next week, make notes as to what the Holy Spirit reveals in it to me, and be prepared to share my results. What does it say to me about my participation in the Barnabas Ministry Team?

How to Enable My Wife

Apply How to Enable My Wife to my relationship with her. Review my list in ‘Setting the Tone-Part 2’ at the top of page 27, by modifying, adding, or subtracting. Consequently, make a new list with new priorities on the top 10 items only.