WEEK TWO
THE SECRET
2 Cor. 3:4-6
In the midst of the five marks of an authentic Christian, there was a question that Paul asked that went unanswered. 2 Cor. 2:6b, “…and who is sufficient for these things?” Trying to answer this in the context of the “Five Marks” it is no wonder Paul asks, “Who is sufficient?” Who is able to maintain a consistent cheerful confident spirit, an ability to always come out on top, a powerful, positive influence over others, a complete trustworthiness, with such a realistic demonstration of these qualities that no one ever is in doubt about them in your life? Are you sufficient to continually manifest these characteristics?
We might want to know of what book we might read or of what hidden power we might tap into that these might be produced. If you watch the TV commercials or read the magazine ads, you will be convinced that it is in the shoes you wear or the cologne or perfume you splash on. Or on some talk shows, you might hear that it is some twelve-step program that you need. But once we have tried some of those products and nothing happened, we realize that it is all a marketing ploy.
Paul does not leave us groping for the truth. He tells us in 2 Cor. 3:4-6, “And we have such trust through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God, who also made us sufficient as ministers of the New Covenant, not for the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills but the Spirit gives life.” Paul wrote something similar to the Romans. Romans 7:24, “Oh wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” In both of these verses, we learn that the “secret” is not a “what”, but a “Who”!
So that his readers would not mistake his meaning, Paul restates this in negative and positive terms. Verse 5 — Negatively = “Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves…” Positively = “…but our sufficiency is from God.”
So what’s the “Secret”? Nothing coming from us; everything coming from God! As we see in verse 6, to live from such a base is to live as qualified ministers of the New Covenant. Paul contrasts this with the Old Covenant — the written code that kills. It is only the life lived in the Spirit based upon God’s sufficiency that will produce these characteristics. Jesus said something very striking as our example here on earth. John 5:19, “Most assuredly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do; for whatever he does, the Son also does in like manner.” John 5:30, “I can of myself do nothing. As I hear, I judge; and My judgement is righteous, because I do not seek My own will but the will of the Father who sent Me.” Jesus, though fully God, limited Himself. In Phil. 2:5-11, Jesus modeled how we are to be sufficient in these earthly bodies. He then tells His disciples this same secret. John 15:5, “I am the Vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.”
Paul, as well, gives us the same teaching in Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” And also, in Romans 7:18, “For I know that in me (that is my flesh) nothing good dwells; for it is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find.”
What Jesus and Paul are NOT implying is that there can be no activity possible without the reliance upon God, but that ANY activity not based on God’s sufficiency will not last. Again, we see that to live from such a base as 2 Cor. 3:6, “…who also made us sufficient as ministers of the new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life”; we are sufficient or qualified.
But qualified as what? Servants of the “New Covenant”.
What is a covenant? It is an agreement or contract between two parties. This agreement forms the basis upon which the relationship rests as it moves into the future. Again, we see the contrasts between these two agreements. The “Old Covenant” is described as the letter that kills. While the “New Covenant” is described as the spirit that gives life, the implications of those under the “Old Covenant” are seen clearly in Isaiah 64:6, “But we are all like an unclean thing, and all our righteousness are like filthy rags…” And in Phil. 3:9, “…and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith.” Simply put – no activity that depends upon human resources for its success will accomplish anything of permanent value for His kingdom. Men may praise it and imitate it, but God will count it as what it is – nothing but self-effort.
The New Covenant is the “secret” of an effective meaningful life. This New Covenant was instituted as the Lord’s Supper or Communion (Luke 22:19-20). Jesus did this and told us to do this often, to remind us of the truth of our new life. Jesus died for us in order that He may live IN us. It is His life in us that is the power by which we can live a true Christian life, marked by the five characteristics.
In Hebrews 8:7-13 and Jer. 31:34, this covenant was prophesied as superior to the old. Hebrews 8:13, “…‘A new covenant,’ He has made the first obsolete. Now what is becoming obsolete and growing old is ready to vanish away.” The “New Covenant” describes the arrangement made by God with, and for, man. Whereby man is furnished the life and power he needs to perform what God wants him to do. Man does not supply his own energy but is in constant need of that energy which is supplied to him by God the creator.
In Romans 7:14-25 Paul describes the struggle we all face as Christians, the desire to follow God, and the battle we face as we all too often give into our flesh. We can never overcome the flesh based upon trying to rely upon it. The “secret” is found only upon depending on the finished work of Jesus — the “New Covenant” He wrote in His own blood.
SETTING THE TONE – PART 1
Eph. 5:25-33 and 1 Cor. 11:3
The Saturday Evening Post was still an influence on its readers in the early ‘60’s when it carried a humorous article entitled, “The Seven Ages of the Married Cold”. It reveals the reaction of a husband to his wife’s colds during seven years of marriage.
During the first year – “Sugar dumpling, I’m worried about my baby girl. You’ve got a bad sniffle and there’s no telling about these things with all this strep going around. I’m putting you in the hospital this afternoon for a general check up and a good rest. I know the food’s lousy, but I’ll bring your meals in from Rossini’s. I’ve already got it arranged with the floor superintendent.”
Second year – “Listen, darling, I don’t like the sound of that cough and I’ve called Doc Miller to rush over here. Now you go to bed like a good girl, please. Just for Papa?”
Third year – “Maybe you’d better lie down, honey; nothing like a little rest when you feel puny. I’ll bring you something to eat. Have we got any soup?”
Fourth year – “Look dear, be sensible. After you feed the kids and get the dishes washed, you’d better hit the sack.”
Fifth year – “Why don’t you get yourself a couple of aspirins?”
Sixth year – “Why don’t you just gargle or something instead of sitting around barking like a seal!”
Seventh year – “For Pete’s sake, stop sneezing! What are you trying to do, gimme me pneumonia?”
This is the most common complaint of wives. They say, “My husband simply takes me for granted. To him, I’m another piece of furniture around the house. I’m only important to him for what I do for him, not for what I am.”
When a woman is threatened like this, at the very deepest level of her life…when she no longer feels secure in her husband’s affection, she will react strangely…or at least it will appear strange to her husband.
It is at that moment…hopefully, a teachable moment for the husband…where our scripture takes on deep meaning for him. Ephesians 5:25-33, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it.” He did this to dedicate the church to God by His word, after making it clean by washing it in water, in order to present the church to Himself in all its beauty – pure and faultless, without spot or wrinkle or any other imperfection. Men ought to love their wives just as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself. (No one ever hates his own body. Instead, he feeds it and takes care of it just as Christ does the church; for we are members of His body.) As the scripture says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” (Eph. 5:31) There is a deep secret truth revealed in this scripture, which I understand as applying to Christ and the church. But is also applies to you. Every husband must love his wife as himself, and every wife must respect her husband. This is concluded in 1 Peter 3:7, “In the same way you husbands must live with your wives with the proper understanding that they are the weaker sex. Treat them with respect because they also will receive, together with you, God’s gift of life. Do this so that nothing will interfere with your prayers.”
The Apostle Paul says it all in one phrase, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave His life for it.” That should be the life verse for every married man. We should have it emblazoned across our mirrors in the mornings, spelled out in our Alpha Bits cereal, and written across the sky as we go to work — “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave His life for it.”
Oh sure, we reason, I know how Christ gave His life for the church, but somehow, I rarely make the connection to my wife. It’s as though the scriptural admonition is in one place and my relationship with my wife is in another. It’s as though the verse had said, “Husbands, love your wives just as they love you and give their lives for you.” It’s as though we place the full load of making the marriage work on our wives rather than accept responsibility as Christ did.
Let’s look at Eph. 5:25 and its meaning more closely. Let’s view its meaning as principles for our “Christ-like” relationships with our wives. So, how did Christ give His life for the Church? First, He did not come to be served, but to serve (Matthew 20:28). Christ’s attitude was to give up His own rights, His own position, and His own safety for our sakes. The Church is not in existence for the personal gratification of Christ. Whether we’re over-weight or always laugh at his jokes or keep house immaculately is not our heavenly husband’s concern. Because He came to serve and to love us, He came for our benefit, not His own.
Scripture is teaching us husbands that we have the opportunity to share in the mind of Christ. To view our wives as He viewed the Church. Think of it – we can be as selfless as Christ was! We can help her with the dishes rather than use the “I worked all day and made money, so dishwashing is the way my wife can serve me” routine. We can use our creative imagination as to what will please her – new negligee, candle-lit diner, a surprise gift to her mother, phone her from work and ask her for a date, give her a back rub, operate the family budget more responsibly so that she doesn’t have to work outside the home, take her on a date each week (which is just the two of you), continue to court her with fervency, flowers and flattering words, the possibilities are endless!
The point to this – when we start viewing our wives as treasured companions which we can serve, we will begin to have the mind of Christ toward our wives. When we begin to think about them several times a day and how we can serve them, or how we can minister to them.
Pray for her! She might need your prayers at that very moment, with a child’s tantrum or a broken water heater, or a discouraging phone conversation. Or did you ever realize that the Holy Spirit may be reminding you to phone her and say, “Honey, I love you. I’m looking forward to tonight.” Or reminding you to ask her for a date.
Brothers, it’s time that we step outside of our self-centered worlds where everyone, particularly our wives, are here for our self-gratification. It’s time that we start to grow up in Christ by relying on His power to make us servants to our wives rather than rulers over them.
Second, Christ did this to dedicate the Church to God. This word “dedicate” means “to put to proper use”. I’m dedicating my shoes by using them for the purpose for which they were intended. We are dedicating these chairs by using them for the purpose for which they were intended. Anything that is put to its proper use, is dedicated.
So, how can we dedicate our wives to God, as Christ did His Church? By treating them as our treasured, life-long companions. People to whom we’re completely committed. People we completely trust by sharing our joys, struggles, hopes, and needs with them; by being open and honest with them; by praying with them; by making plans with them; by asking their opinions; by placing our commitments to them above all other relationships, including relatives, vocation and buddies. That’s what Eph. 5:31 means when it says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife and the two will become one.” God created our wives to be used solely as our treasured companions with whom we can share everything. Let’s dedicate our wives by using them for the purpose for which they were intended.
But how can we discover the purpose of their existence without asking Christ for the discernment and wisdom and insight necessary to make those decisions? We men are naturally dull when it comes to understanding women. We go to marriage conferences and hear all kinds of speakers, but we still don’t understand our wives. I heard of a divorce court judge who said to the husband, “You mean to say that what your wife tells me is true, that you actually have not spoken to her for two years?” The man replied, “Yes, sir.” The judge asked, “Why is that?” The man answered, “Because I didn’t want to interrupt her.”
We may laugh at that story, but that’s unfortunate because I suspect that such marathon talking indicated the wife was hurting deeply. She was hurting because she wasn’t filled. She may have had a housemate, but she was lonely. She had no companion. A huge hole of loneliness existed where fulfillment should have been.
But the scripture is clear in teaching that as we give up ourselves as Christ did, as we begin to zero in on our wives (think about them, observe what makes them tick, invest in them, share our thoughts with them, seek to draw our strengths in them, free them to new opportunities), they will become fulfilled in their womanhood. They will be dedicated.
They will be fulfilled and dedicated because it is that kind of selfless servanthood on our part which will enable our wives to realize their potential as God created them. God made them in order to help their husbands. By including our wives in our thinking, they will sense, at the deepest level of their being, that they are being given that which they were created for. Consequently, we can avoid the restlessness and uneasiness which inflects so many women. These attitudes are displayed in wives who are denied the opportunity to be a helper, a complete woman to their husbands.
It is the husband’s primary responsibility to set the tone, to establish the atmosphere for the marriage. Just as Christ assumed that responsibility in His relationship to us, the church, we initiate the environment with our wives.
It is this kind of responsibility which ultimately honors our wives and makes them feel loved, makes them feel treasured and cherished. I heard of a truck driver whose wife was required to fill out some kind of form. For her occupation, she wrote down “housewife” and he objected. He said, “You’re not a HOUSE wife. You’re MY wife.” His attitude toward her went a long way toward setting the tone of companionship in that marriage.
Passages, like 1 Cor. 11:3, have long been mistranslated and misunderstood. Male chauvinist translators in past centuries rendered the reading “…I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” Traditionally, people have thought this a contradiction to other scripture, which says that she is his companion.
But the more common meaning was “source” or “origin” instead of head. The source of the Mississippi River is in Minnesota. The origin of woman is in man, as Eve was taken from Adam. The origin of women’s life was a man. He is not to be her lord and master, a phrase common to some parts of our society. Although past translators tended to read and interpret the Bible through the cultural filters in which they lived – where men did lord it over their wives, where women were property of their husbands or fathers. Christians today are discovering the truth; the clarity of relationships which men and women can experience together as we assume responsibility for our scriptural roles as husbands and wives.
GROWTH OPPORTUNITY QUESTIONS
WEEK TWO
The Secret
- List, specifically, how the 2 Cor. 3:4-5 teaching applies to my life. In what specific areas am I relying on the Old Covenant? How? When?
Setting the Tone
- Read Setting the Tone – Part 1. Answer the following questions and be ready to discuss at our next session:
a. What is wives most common complaint?
b. Give some examples of sources of that complaint in my marriage/other’s marriage.
c. List at least 3 practical, specific ways in which I am or could apply principle #1.
d. List at least 3 practical, specific ways in which I am or could apply principle #2.
e. List at least 3 practical, specific ways in which I can “set the tone” with my wife.
f. Two measurable goals which I will set based upon d. and e. above are (which I will share and be held accountable on):